scard out of my brains

i had a friend who has Cancer and it sad because i wish u where there to say ur last good bye it hurt me the most is not being there and i wish i had a chance to say a lot to u be for u ur flight to haven and i wish i had said something to u be for u die or kill ur self it not fair that  im here and ur not i cant even try to explain every thing i have dreams a bout u why cant u leave me a lone did i do something wrong or did u need me the most or it just time to move on who ever is a live need to let me cry it not good to let it in and i herd a nother thing to if u where pregnant and u had an abortion not cool at all to let u know that way bad but if it was for a doctors reason then i can understand but if it was not for that reason then i wont for give you at all not good i had a friend who told me she was going to do it but it ur kids life that called murder and im not happy that people kill other people in life i mean who u kill might have kids or a wife and that so bad idea i have lost to many friends to death why and it not a fun at all to be in the army and u have to kill why i mad as heck  at certain people who bioch a bout me u don't know me so back off it not fun to have friends who say oh we are friends then they back stab me u lieing son of a gun of a friend who talk crap a bout me and it u turn to tell me why or what i did to u ur not a good friend to lie to my face ur a mean loser but i can help out IF U STOP BULLING THE CRAP OUT OF ME AND NOT BEING A SON OF A GUN eater and u dont love me get marred and leave me the hello mercy  a lone ur not my b/f and u dont care u did not even invite me to ur wedding bull crap ur not so close to me any more did u think i know ur loser g/f ur wife is mad at me for nothing i did she did not want me to go so it ur fault u did not ask me to marry u stupid guys dam it