Sad

I've been down this road by my self not cool I know every one knows this but thIs time not good today marks 9 years of sad things in my life but I'm not shuer if it my heart or my soul I don't like crying I feel like part of me is dead not good i want to cry how can this be I'm trying not to cry but I miss my dog my close friends I'm still here why me i all was ask but now I know why if I was dead no one would of know me no one want to find me or be my friend I'm so sad but I have to brake the chain that 

True life

Don't you feel like some one hear you but not a live and you dream a bout them I so that a lot of times I don know how to explain it it like a worm feeling that some one watching you and u wish some one was there to hug you but I'm the only one who can feel them but they see you an they know who you are 

I'm the lonely child of god who know thing be for they happen  

I have cool friends

I love my friends thanks for the love and care that you all have for me  

Flagstaff

I'm so happy that I went to see family in flagstaff I had fun but it was hard on me because I was in a volcano cave was really scary it was to dark had to have a light to show where you where walking never so it i hit my head 3 times 3 panic  attacks Alice help me so did my dad thank gosh for them both Emma was so happy that I got threw I and not stop I'm ok now I'm coming home we saw saturn it was to small look like a pic from a movie mason way nice cooper thanks for being a goo friend and a family member Emma I hope we keep in touch they have a cat I like him but he was trying to eat my ear plugs not cool cat I'm not to happy to not say good bye to Emma sorry I left and we did not call to say thank you for your love thank you all who was worried a bout me I never new that love still there in flagstaff I'm still trying to move on but some times some one try's to push u a way don't let them hurt your love and 

i dont want u to hate me

I was born to love some one but I found out I was not a normal person as every one thinks I am I don't have a lot of friends who would ever be there for me im sad lost and im trying to save some one life I don't know how or why

Don't know what to say

I've  been lost but u know I'm back I don't want this summer to suck for me I'm the one who lost a lot of friends in church it seems no one want to find me and be there it hard for me to even writ this I know bands don't reach out but I need it some day ill die and ill never know how life with out me be like I'm so sorry if any if you hate me but if u hate me then you hate god it not good to be mean