Don't know what to say

I've  been lost but u know I'm back I don't want this summer to suck for me I'm the one who lost a lot of friends in church it seems no one want to find me and be there it hard for me to even writ this I know bands don't reach out but I need it some day ill die and ill never know how life with out me be like I'm so sorry if any if you hate me but if u hate me then you hate god it not good to be mean