Life

CHRISTIE DOBBS!!! If I were in Thatcher, I’d come and give you a big huge hug right now and we’d vent together about how much people and boys suck!! haha. I miss you so much. I am  sorry that you’re going through hard times. I hope you know how much of a light you were to me during my EAC days and you still are. I was often lonely during that time, but you were always there to cheer me up and keep me company when I needed it. Even though I’ve moved away, you’re one of the best people I’ve ever had the pleasure of getting to know and I still think of you often. You’ve never been in the shadows to the people who truly see you. We all need your humor and your positive fun energy more than you will ever know. And to the people who choose not to see you, screw them!!! That’s their loss!!! They’re missing out on one of the most awesome beautiful people in the world!! Miss you, Christie!!!! And thank you for being vulnerable in sharing your pain. It’s the only real thing I’ve seen on social media today. Most people hide their pain behind fake smiles. I love and miss you so much!!!!! That how I was to a lot of different people Ihave pain no one knows how bad it gets this cheers me up I miss u I wish u where here to hug the pain a way for a long time I hate the fact that no one seems to care a bout who they hurt the most I had bad times like it use to be 

Badly sick

Well I just haven’t told any one or close friends I have diverticulitis and it was badlyhurt I could not walk or drink or anything I had to be put in a plane to Tucson hospital I was there for 4 days even on my mom birthday and I felt like crap I felt like I was dieing while I was there I pray that godwould give me help and he did I owe everyone a thanks for everything u have done for me even though I was in bad pain I felt like some one came to save me 

So here I am thinking to my self why did some one hated me for being a girl who would love any one  and it been sad bad losing a lot and being heart broken how dare you hurt me and left me for some one who no one like and it not my falt u lost me for some one somehow I wonder who you really were some times you lied to me sometimes he just sat there like a jerk and sometimes I wonder what the hell you're were up to you want behind my back and day this check and I actually got her pregnant literally dude you're nothing but a backstabbing jerk lying little boy I just wish you understood the meaning of real friendship because now you're screwed there's nothing I can do for you now because I'm not seeing you when you're not seeing me so well go back to your bitch that you been with all this time screwing around with her other girls of course we all know that because you sat there and told the truth

At my worst

Bleed me out

I know you're the first to listen

When I scream aloud

I'm coming clean again

And I will do my best to

Show you who

Who I was and who I am

Don't write me off

Please hear me out 

My skin is so much thicker now

I feel it in my bones

Not feeling anymore

The writings on the wall

My scars are at the door

The worst is over my eyes are open

They can say whatever 

They can say whatever they want

Tonight I'm not coming undone

They can say whatever

They can say whatever they want

And I'll throw it all away

You can see it on my face

And I'll throw it all away

Just to find my voice again

Lay me out

Leave me bruised and broken

Watch me build back up

And lead aloud again

I wont forget the ones who 

Pulled me out when I was at my worst

If its you I cared about

You know I'd tell you first 

My skin is thicker now

I feel it in my bones

Not feeling anymore

The writings on the wall

My scars are at the door

The worst is over my eyes are open

They can say whatever 

They can say whatever they want

Tonight I'm not coming undone

They can say whatever

They can say whatever they want

And I'll throw it all away

You can see it on my face

And I'll throw it all away

Just to find my voice again

(Just to find my voice again)

No turning back 

I see it all in front of me

Forget the past

There's no way that I'd ever leave

No turning back 

I see it all in front of me

Forget the past

There's no way that I'd ever leave

The worst is over my eyes are open

They can say whatever

They can say whatever they want

Tonight I'm not coming undone

They can say whatever

They can say whatever they want

And I'll throw it all away

You can see it on my face

And I'll throw it all away

Just to find my voice again

New I pod touch 6

I went to New York for 5 days I was in Dallas Texas I never thought I'd be there for 6 hours I only had 2 hours of sleep and I got jet lagged for 3 days was not fun and I love my new nice her name is arlo I love you so much fun to watch and to hold you a lot and you sleep  a lot more than me when I was a baby girl you know  how life works for the rest your life day come and go but now you have a aunts who will be there when you need me to be able to see you soon as you get older I want you to know that you are so cute and I love you so much for being in my life I got to see my brother Devin for Christmas and I was having fun with you on the 2 week of my New Years had bad news I got my heart broken by a few weeks ago 

Sad

I thought I had real friends but I don't I feel so sad and it not fun being broken I don't know what to do 

Hair and model

I'm so happy