Sunday morning

Good morning America  and JapanI really do appreciate all of your kindness and love somehow I felt like I was just being alone for a while because of my depression and Cova 19 so usually I kind of hide from everybody can I hide it very well and everybody’s been looking for me well you have to go through my Facebook or actually my Twitter because sometimes I answer my Twitter or am I discord because some my new friends are in discord that really needs to understand the meaning of friendship but of  course my Twitter has a post about my posts that I’ve been doing usually I just sit in my sisters room watch TV and relax or watching anime when I’m supposed to do some other things PS somebody really needs to get his butt back home my dad is still sick as everybody knows since I haven’t really told everybody everything he has GPA is very highly risk blood system I know I know I shouldn’t tell you this but I have to I don’t have diverticulitis That I know of I really appreciate all of your concern and really been there for me through the worst of it all but right now I need some time to myself and for my family and my friends but I’ll be around as much as I can have a good Sunday

News I never thought this would be the day

For a long Time I thought I was an ugly girl because likely I had surgery got really hard lately because I have been hitting myself away from everybody and I apologize for that but since I’ve been so badly depressed because of this it’s not your fault sometimes people just don’t understand the meaning of real friendship until the moment somebody dies everybody’s like I will be OK you’ll be fine you’ll see them again this person has been gone since I turned 29 it’s been really hard everybody thinks it’s so easy but it’s not I’m still here wondering why did this happen to me who would die and leave somebody behind like that doesn’t make sense but now it does what are these days I’m gonna be gone on these days somebody will be asking about what happened to me how did it happen but that’s how hard it is to let go to somebody that you thought you know while I am there for you you know I’m not always going to be lonelyKnowing where I’m going to go next it’s gonna be hard for everybody I’ll be gone for another two months I have to have my other surgery I know I was like why are you leaving for two months because that’s how long my surgery Hass to be to be completely healed now allowed to eat stuffed are used to heck is hard I’m just hoping that something is right so anyways I got to get going love you guys

New update

Hi everyone it’s Christie I have a surprise I have a new update so I haven’t really updated everybody on my Facebook or my Instagram or my Twitter I feel kind of bad because I’ve been badly sick so I apologize to anybody who’s been trying to get to me because there’s no chance of me getting out of the house for a while again but soon I’ll be out hopefully around town if anybody sees me please talk to me don’t be afraid to ask questions About me I have my air pack for one more week  just letting you know and any  Questions I’m still around I’m alive not dead yet so in four months I have to go back get my other surgery I haven’t really told anybody that because I was afraid of saying oh I have three months till I get my surgery or four hopefully five let’s pray for five months but anyways thank you to everybody who’s been coming by my house and visiting me I really appreciate it love y’all I’ll talk to you soon

Life

CHRISTIE DOBBS!!! If I were in Thatcher, I’d come and give you a big huge hug right now and we’d vent together about how much people and boys suck!! haha. I miss you so much. I am  sorry that you’re going through hard times. I hope you know how much of a light you were to me during my EAC days and you still are. I was often lonely during that time, but you were always there to cheer me up and keep me company when I needed it. Even though I’ve moved away, you’re one of the best people I’ve ever had the pleasure of getting to know and I still think of you often. You’ve never been in the shadows to the people who truly see you. We all need your humor and your positive fun energy more than you will ever know. And to the people who choose not to see you, screw them!!! That’s their loss!!! They’re missing out on one of the most awesome beautiful people in the world!! Miss you, Christie!!!! And thank you for being vulnerable in sharing your pain. It’s the only real thing I’ve seen on social media today. Most people hide their pain behind fake smiles. I love and miss you so much!!!!! That how I was to a lot of different people Ihave pain no one knows how bad it gets this cheers me up I miss u I wish u where here to hug the pain a way for a long time I hate the fact that no one seems to care a bout who they hurt the most I had bad times like it use to be 

Badly sick

Well I just haven’t told any one or close friends I have diverticulitis and it was badlyhurt I could not walk or drink or anything I had to be put in a plane to Tucson hospital I was there for 4 days even on my mom birthday and I felt like crap I felt like I was dieing while I was there I pray that godwould give me help and he did I owe everyone a thanks for everything u have done for me even though I was in bad pain I felt like some one came to save me 

So here I am thinking to my self why did some one hated me for being a girl who would love any one  and it been sad bad losing a lot and being heart broken how dare you hurt me and left me for some one who no one like and it not my falt u lost me for some one somehow I wonder who you really were some times you lied to me sometimes he just sat there like a jerk and sometimes I wonder what the hell you're were up to you want behind my back and day this check and I actually got her pregnant literally dude you're nothing but a backstabbing jerk lying little boy I just wish you understood the meaning of real friendship because now you're screwed there's nothing I can do for you now because I'm not seeing you when you're not seeing me so well go back to your bitch that you been with all this time screwing around with her other girls of course we all know that because you sat there and told the truth

At my worst

Bleed me out

I know you're the first to listen

When I scream aloud

I'm coming clean again

And I will do my best to

Show you who

Who I was and who I am

Don't write me off

Please hear me out 

My skin is so much thicker now

I feel it in my bones

Not feeling anymore

The writings on the wall

My scars are at the door

The worst is over my eyes are open

They can say whatever 

They can say whatever they want

Tonight I'm not coming undone

They can say whatever

They can say whatever they want

And I'll throw it all away

You can see it on my face

And I'll throw it all away

Just to find my voice again

Lay me out

Leave me bruised and broken

Watch me build back up

And lead aloud again

I wont forget the ones who 

Pulled me out when I was at my worst

If its you I cared about

You know I'd tell you first 

My skin is thicker now

I feel it in my bones

Not feeling anymore

The writings on the wall

My scars are at the door

The worst is over my eyes are open

They can say whatever 

They can say whatever they want

Tonight I'm not coming undone

They can say whatever

They can say whatever they want

And I'll throw it all away

You can see it on my face

And I'll throw it all away

Just to find my voice again

(Just to find my voice again)

No turning back 

I see it all in front of me

Forget the past

There's no way that I'd ever leave

No turning back 

I see it all in front of me

Forget the past

There's no way that I'd ever leave

The worst is over my eyes are open

They can say whatever

They can say whatever they want

Tonight I'm not coming undone

They can say whatever

They can say whatever they want

And I'll throw it all away

You can see it on my face

And I'll throw it all away

Just to find my voice again